I have to post this as evidence of Christ in me! I'm watching a documentary called "Lockup: Inside Riverbend" which is essentially the cameras catching the life inside the prison Riverbend, located in Nashville, TN. I just have to express that I'm weeping and feeling compassion for a young inmate (a mere 21 yrs. old) who violently murdered his aunt because she was the closest thing to killing his mother. A mother who betrayed his love as a child and brutalized him. I'm speaking in the Spirit. Jesus loves him so much. He loves this young man. I love this young man. It's not his fault that his mother hurt him and it's not his fault that he is damaged so much that in his own words, "I have no value on this earth except to be a serial killer and if I'm never getting out of this place, I figure I might as well carry out that plan..to be a serial killer." He's in lock down 23 hours a day. Not because of his crime but because he's violent inside the prison walls. He doesn't know love. He didn't know love. But Love (capitalized to represent Christ and the nature of who Christ is) knows him. I love the young man in spite of what he did. Some would call me as insane as the young man, but I know Christ, and He dictates this emotion. My flesh would hate the young man but I don't operate in the flesh. I operate in the Spirit and the Spirit is of God and God is love! It's the only way I can say to the world that God loves, and if He's inside you then you love the unlovable. Those who know Jesus, know love and understand me with perfect clarity. Those who do not know Jesus have no understanding and therefore no compassion and can't understand what I'm saying or where it even comes from. In closing, I say this, I'd rather be considered insane or crazy for loving this young man than to be cold along with the world and deem him unlovable and condemn him to death or hell.
We all have a choice to believe in something, I choose to believe in God!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
THE SUN HAS RISEN IN MY SOUL
You never know the oppression you live under until it's been lifted. You never know the right direction to go in until you take that first step. I am experiencing both the freedom and the direction.
Before I took that first step, the devil was in my ear telling me, "no good Christian would ever walk away from the Sunday ritual." That last word "ritual" was the mistake he made with his effort to convince me. I kept saying to myself, "I'm sick of the rituals. They aren't feeding my soul."
The truth is, only in a few rare churches will the Holy Spirit be allowed to come. I am looking for that church. That's the one for me. The one where there's no routine. Just a gathering of people loving Christ and looking to worship Him and when He comes to inhabit the praises of His people, He's allowed to come! But I'm not running around like a chicken with my head cut off looking and bouncing from service to service. Why not Kell? Because, I'm not putting myself through the disappointment when it turns out to be another dead church.
I love the book of Isaiah!! It's my book. God wrote it for me (and others seeking this particular message). I especially love chapter 58, even though it never seems to be recognized for the truth contained therein. "Is not this the fast that I have chosen?" Isa. 58:6. And He, God, tells us what is an acceptable fast unto Him..."to loose the bands of wickedness, TO UNDO THE HEAVY BURDENS, and to LET THE OPPRESSED GO FREE, and that you BREAK EVERY YOKE." vs. 6. "...to deal your bread to the hungry and bring the poor that are cast out to your house, when you see the naked, you cover him and that you don't hide yourself from your own flesh." vs.7. It says a few more things but I want to skip down to verse 13 which speaks of the sabbath day. Let me tell you what God does NOT say, "go to church." Listen to what he DOES say, "If you turn your foot from the sabbath, from DOING YOUR PLEASURE on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honorable; and shall honor Him, not doing your own ways, nor finding your own pleasure, nor speaking your own words:" and then vs. 14 says, "THEN, shall you delight yourself in the Lord and I will cause you to ride upon the high places of the earth..."
Guess what? That does not mean if you'll make it a habit to go somewhere particular because it's labeled as a godly place to be on a particular day, then I'll accept you and love you. No, in fact, in means just what it says, "if your true heartfelt desire is to be with me on this day instead of in the world doing what you want to do, if you'll extend yourself beyond your own universe to see me and the love I want to share with you, if I become your breath and heartbeat for just a day, then..."
It's important to note that He's looking for our efforts and desires to honor Him. He's not looking for some church doctrine to tell us what to do, and we obey faithfully so as to earn our brownie points. If this is all He had for me then I'd be following all the other robots to church and telling myself that I'm a good Christian and this is how I prove it. I'm not like that in my soul. I know He deserves more than my obedience to church rituals and doctrines. He deserves my all, and my all goes deeper than the surface acts I can perform for others to see.
I've never been more alive than when pouring out of myself to a needy soul. My idea of clothing the naked is wrapping my arms around them or my kind words and taking away their vulnerability with my limited human efforts but letting His infinite love flow through me to complete the job. My idea of feeding the hungry is telling them there's a love greater than any a man or woman can give them and sharing the love of Jesus with them. For truly, the hunger of the soul is the most ravenous.
May be this is what God has for me in particular. I'm not trying to convince the world that church is bad or that people should quit going. Absolutely not!! I'm trying to say that we owe Him more than our presence in church and that being there doesn't make us righteous. I'm trying to say that if you're not alive while in church then may be you're denying the true ministry God has for you.
Before I took that first step, the devil was in my ear telling me, "no good Christian would ever walk away from the Sunday ritual." That last word "ritual" was the mistake he made with his effort to convince me. I kept saying to myself, "I'm sick of the rituals. They aren't feeding my soul."
The truth is, only in a few rare churches will the Holy Spirit be allowed to come. I am looking for that church. That's the one for me. The one where there's no routine. Just a gathering of people loving Christ and looking to worship Him and when He comes to inhabit the praises of His people, He's allowed to come! But I'm not running around like a chicken with my head cut off looking and bouncing from service to service. Why not Kell? Because, I'm not putting myself through the disappointment when it turns out to be another dead church.
I love the book of Isaiah!! It's my book. God wrote it for me (and others seeking this particular message). I especially love chapter 58, even though it never seems to be recognized for the truth contained therein. "Is not this the fast that I have chosen?" Isa. 58:6. And He, God, tells us what is an acceptable fast unto Him..."to loose the bands of wickedness, TO UNDO THE HEAVY BURDENS, and to LET THE OPPRESSED GO FREE, and that you BREAK EVERY YOKE." vs. 6. "...to deal your bread to the hungry and bring the poor that are cast out to your house, when you see the naked, you cover him and that you don't hide yourself from your own flesh." vs.7. It says a few more things but I want to skip down to verse 13 which speaks of the sabbath day. Let me tell you what God does NOT say, "go to church." Listen to what he DOES say, "If you turn your foot from the sabbath, from DOING YOUR PLEASURE on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honorable; and shall honor Him, not doing your own ways, nor finding your own pleasure, nor speaking your own words:" and then vs. 14 says, "THEN, shall you delight yourself in the Lord and I will cause you to ride upon the high places of the earth..."
Guess what? That does not mean if you'll make it a habit to go somewhere particular because it's labeled as a godly place to be on a particular day, then I'll accept you and love you. No, in fact, in means just what it says, "if your true heartfelt desire is to be with me on this day instead of in the world doing what you want to do, if you'll extend yourself beyond your own universe to see me and the love I want to share with you, if I become your breath and heartbeat for just a day, then..."
It's important to note that He's looking for our efforts and desires to honor Him. He's not looking for some church doctrine to tell us what to do, and we obey faithfully so as to earn our brownie points. If this is all He had for me then I'd be following all the other robots to church and telling myself that I'm a good Christian and this is how I prove it. I'm not like that in my soul. I know He deserves more than my obedience to church rituals and doctrines. He deserves my all, and my all goes deeper than the surface acts I can perform for others to see.
I've never been more alive than when pouring out of myself to a needy soul. My idea of clothing the naked is wrapping my arms around them or my kind words and taking away their vulnerability with my limited human efforts but letting His infinite love flow through me to complete the job. My idea of feeding the hungry is telling them there's a love greater than any a man or woman can give them and sharing the love of Jesus with them. For truly, the hunger of the soul is the most ravenous.
May be this is what God has for me in particular. I'm not trying to convince the world that church is bad or that people should quit going. Absolutely not!! I'm trying to say that we owe Him more than our presence in church and that being there doesn't make us righteous. I'm trying to say that if you're not alive while in church then may be you're denying the true ministry God has for you.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
ANOTHER MESSAGE FROM GOD!!
First thing is first and that is, you have to read the last post before this one to see the way God is responding to my prayers, questions, and actions. (Well, you don't HAVE to, you can choose to.)
So, here I am, on this journey to break free from religious bondage and God sends not one, but 2 messages to me within a short period of time. The first is the video I've posted entitled "David." Pastor, Jonathan Wiggins, says things about people worshiping God in truth and Spirit as in, "just being." Not the "faithful church attendance show" that people put on. And the second message is the video of Jefferson Bethke who says it in a slight rap but I couldn't have said it better.
It's like God is telling people (or at least myself) that the church is failing and we must break free and put it right!! I don't know how God feels about people who go to church every Sunday and demonstrate a kind of faithfulness. I don't know if He counts this to their charge. But I know I can't live inside of that box and still feel like I truly worship and serve Him the way He says to.
God doesn't judge me. He doesn't tell me He loves me but then leaves me alone to fend for myself through my trials.
I knew I wasn't that far off the track when I broke free from the church. I'm sure that millions of "Christians" would rebuke me and call me "back slider," but I rebuke you and call you "hypocrite."
Too many times have I been told, in the midst of a trial, "Go and be blessed." But that's something the Lord spoke out against. Don't tell your neighbor to go and come later and you'll give. Give at that moment. Don't tell your brother/sister to go away and expect them to be blessed by your telling them to be. We have to be that blessing to them.
I question everything!! The doctrines, the attitudes, the church!! I won't be moved from serving God in truth and in righteousness. I won't become a part of the scenery. I won't conform and be blended so as to become a religious pharisee!!
"Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." James 1:27.
So, here I am, on this journey to break free from religious bondage and God sends not one, but 2 messages to me within a short period of time. The first is the video I've posted entitled "David." Pastor, Jonathan Wiggins, says things about people worshiping God in truth and Spirit as in, "just being." Not the "faithful church attendance show" that people put on. And the second message is the video of Jefferson Bethke who says it in a slight rap but I couldn't have said it better.
It's like God is telling people (or at least myself) that the church is failing and we must break free and put it right!! I don't know how God feels about people who go to church every Sunday and demonstrate a kind of faithfulness. I don't know if He counts this to their charge. But I know I can't live inside of that box and still feel like I truly worship and serve Him the way He says to.
God doesn't judge me. He doesn't tell me He loves me but then leaves me alone to fend for myself through my trials.
I knew I wasn't that far off the track when I broke free from the church. I'm sure that millions of "Christians" would rebuke me and call me "back slider," but I rebuke you and call you "hypocrite."
Too many times have I been told, in the midst of a trial, "Go and be blessed." But that's something the Lord spoke out against. Don't tell your neighbor to go and come later and you'll give. Give at that moment. Don't tell your brother/sister to go away and expect them to be blessed by your telling them to be. We have to be that blessing to them.
I question everything!! The doctrines, the attitudes, the church!! I won't be moved from serving God in truth and in righteousness. I won't become a part of the scenery. I won't conform and be blended so as to become a religious pharisee!!
"Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." James 1:27.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND
I'm expounding on the last few posts wherein I talk about feeling like religion has been smothering me. I want to go back to the start and regain some awareness of God and less of man and their teachings. I've been so confused and so unhappy with the constant religious environments. Get up on Sunday, go to church, go home, get up on Sunday, go to church, go home. It began to seem like there's something more. I began to question my reasons for attending church. There's value in it but I also have come to realize that it's not how God expects us to love, cherish, honor, or serve Him. My relationship with Jesus Christ is not contingent upon my faithful church attendance and the reason it isn't is because if that was the rule, then people bed-ridden would have no hope of a relationship with Him since they can't leave their beds. So, I've started the process of ridding my life of the religion, ceremony, and tradition that the church has burdened me with. Wear this, talk like that, pray 3 times a day, bow your head, cross your hands, hit your knees, don't make a mistake, don't act human, be a religious femme-bot. No more. So, this morning I stayed home and watched a sermon in Colorado online. I'm posting that sermon here. Here is what God said to me in the midst of my struggle, if you care to know. He's there, He hears, He understands, and if you seek, you WILL find!!
NOTE: This guy is so funny, it's an added bonus to this sermon. He's clearly operating in the Spirit of God and peppers his sermon with funny little commentaries and antics. It makes for an enjoyable experience. I hope you enjoy the sermon as well. He's talking about the 23rd Psalm and King David as it all relates to us. "The Lord is my Shepherd..." Remember you'll need to scroll to the bottom and click "mute" on the playlist.
P.S. I think my fish should be pigs the way they scarf down their little kibbles!!
NOTE: This guy is so funny, it's an added bonus to this sermon. He's clearly operating in the Spirit of God and peppers his sermon with funny little commentaries and antics. It makes for an enjoyable experience. I hope you enjoy the sermon as well. He's talking about the 23rd Psalm and King David as it all relates to us. "The Lord is my Shepherd..." Remember you'll need to scroll to the bottom and click "mute" on the playlist.
P.S. I think my fish should be pigs the way they scarf down their little kibbles!!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
HE "RAINS"
God is like the rain that falls on dry and parched desert lands. One minute you can be so dry and in desperate need of refreshing. The next thing you know He's raining down on you. It's life-giving for the soul. I picture my heart to be like a rock sometimes when suddenly, pieces of it begin to crumble away to expose the rhythm of a heartbeat. The life breaks forth. But if we don't stay connected to God and flow through life with Him, that desert land will remain dry and dusty and abandoned. A place where nothing can grow and no one wants to go to. God is the rain that brings the life. The life that sustains is brought by the rains. That which is brought by the rains and sustains the life is needful and can't be forgotten. One can't forget that their life needs to be sustained. He's with me all the time. But sometimes, I don't honor that presence. That's when I begin to become parched. My life begins to resemble a dry lake bed. Cracked, flat, nothing green for miles. But then I realize "with Whom we have to do." And I turn my face to Him, and He sends the life (the rains). And once again..I bloom!!
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