Since my blog is about my walk with Jesus, I feel obligated to chronicle my ups and downs. It's for myself. I don't even see that anyone is reading my blog. This is confusing to me. Where is everybody? Am I supposed to "edit HTML" to get traffic or something? It's like my blog is the only one nobody is joining or reading but I've seen 1,000 other blogs just like mine and they have 75 members. Hm. Anyway, I've missed 4 straight weeks of Sunday service and I have to admit that I can see the difference. I'm downtrodden and concerned. I don't feel wrong with God but I feel like something is amiss. People might ask, why don't you just pick up and go to a new church? Because I'm not built that way. I'm reclusive and I've always been this way. I can walk up to a stranger with a big ole smile and cheerful heart and feel confident speaking to them, but as a rule, it's not really in me. Especially when you're talking about interjecting oneself into a big crowd of total strangers. Some people fit in without a problem. I'm an unusual person in that I'm bold and outspoken when I have a conviction. If you say or do something in my presence that's unacceptable or unkind, etc., I'm definitely gonna speak out against your actions. Since most of this country is full of the "coddling kind" I don't fit in very well. People tend to expect the coddling. They expect that you're not gonna "be rude." Well, I will be "rude" if you're talking smack about another race, or treating your child like crap. So, suffice it to say, after a brief period of time, people find that I'm not the "coddling kind" and I will say things that make them a wee bit uncomfortable. This is my personality. I don't insult people, but I speak out against bad behaviors. So what?! This is one of the joys of being a recluse. There's not many people in my life and not many people knocking down my door to get into my life. I'm kind of freed up to speak my mind without the fear of losing acquaintances. They're already "losed"lol.. I got off track didn't I? I still find my thoughts coming back to the fact that God could possibly be preparing to do a new thing in my life. I watched an awesome preacher, Jonathan Wiggins, of the Resurrection Fellowship Church or Rez, in Loveland, CO., and he preached a sermon on the day I was questioning myself that fit my circumstances to a tee. Just like God to send a word in due season though. He said that God told him to tell His people that scripture was being twisted. I kind of knew that already which is why I question everything. The Corinthian verse "forsake not the assembling of one another as the manner of some is," doesn't mean "go to church and make an appearance." AHA!!!! I was right all along you pew warmers!! He said the Lord dropped it into him to tell us that He expects us to come bearing gifts to one another and to Him if there's no opportunity to give it away to your fellow man. Gifts such as the tongues and interpretation of such. Healing. Prophecy. I've always questioned the teaching of church attendance being mandatory or a command. I know darn well that the Bible doesn't say that. I never take a man's word for anything. If a man stands to have his paycheck given by people in a church congregation, there's a high likelihood that he'll preach this doctrine. Not certain, but likely. Some are corrupt that way. Anyway, the Lord confirmed through that message that I haven't been sinning against Him by missing service. Thank you so much Lord, thank you. What peace of mind that gives me. I've got to find my way though.