We all have a choice to believe in something, I choose to believe in God!

Friday, December 6, 2013


I'm just going to stop in a minute and do a little updating on life recently. It hasn't been exquisitely exciting but it hasn't been infuriatingly boring either.

School is going great, I finish the semester on the 9th and 10th with final exams in Philosophy and Sociology. Philosophy bored me to tears with it's open-ended questions and maddening theories of human nature, all of which argued the other. Sociology was interesting, I ate that up!! I did well in  both classes but it's now time to move forward so next semester it's World Civilization and Composition. 

My grandson is getting big, he just turned 2 in November. I still haven't seen the other grandson who's mother decided to take him away in the night. Who does such a thing after a grandmother has worked so hard to bond with her grandchild and be there for the young couple? Who just wisks him away in the night as if our bond means nothing? I still can't understand how she could have done this to little Ronnie and I, but it's done so there's nothing left but faith in God that He'll bring Ronnie back to me. I know for a fact the bond I forged can't be broken by any amount of time. He may not remember me, but he'll remember the love I imparted for that brief period of time and then he'll remember me in his spirit.

I finally got myself lined out with anti-depression medication and it has really helped a lot. My suicidal thoughts have almost vanished and I feel a sense of well-being. I still have a long way to go to truly be happy because it lurks beneath the surface at all times, but I'm on my way.

I'm still single, mainly because there's nobody in this entire state that doesn't say the word "perty". haha, just kidding, that's not why I'm still single but it does play a role. I just need some intellect in a partner and I seem to live in a part of the country where the men are oversexed, too much into mudding or southern rock bands, and have no interest in the person I am. I think it's a cultural thing. I've noticed stark contrasts in the mentality of men in the U.S. as opposed to men in the U.K. and other nations. I really don't care at this point because my faith isn't in the men, it's in the Maker of them.

God is still performing miracles in my life. Just when I grapple with Him because I feel He's failed me, He shows me that He doesn't have failure as a part of His personality or ambitions. He just takes good care of me in spite of my lack of deserving the things He does. I deserve up to a point but I can be so saucy with Him, I'm surprised He hasn't struck my mouth with a bolt of lightening just to seal the stupid thing shut for a minute. haha

I have a beautiful new God child....oh he's something! His name is Nathan and he lives with his adopting dad in the Philippines. He was offered to his dad because the mother had so many children and couldn't take care of one more. His daddy, my dear sweet friend, couldn't say no and took him without hesitation into his arms and heart. Nathan has thrived in his care. Incidentally, his daddy is a blogger, a blogger I met by following his blog. Carlo Magno is the name and taking pictures is his game. He's an extremely good photographer and captivated me with his images the moment I saw them. I've never ever been interested in photography or viewing photographs until I met someone who photographs from the heart, that's Carlo! Then we became friends and then Carlo "had a baby" and I was asked to be his Godmother. What an incredible honor! I only wish I was a rich woman because that baby would be showered with gifts from America!!!

Last but not least, my children! My oldest beautiful son, a.k.a. "Sunshine Boy", has finally achieved his life long dream of joining the field of law enforcement. He went through the police academy and earned his badge. He now works as a correction officer for the local jail. He'll work there for a time and then move to field work. As for my youngest son, a.k.a. "my little troubled one", he's somewhere living his life and finding himself and I'm just here loving him and praying for him, that whatever he's up to, be it good or bad, it's for a purpose and that God is bringing him through his valley to stand on the mountain. He has been trouble recently and I do worry a bit, but then I reflect on my own path and how God used every mistake I ever made to build character in me. He's brilliant and I trust Him with my son the same as He trusted me when He loaned the child to me to raise. It will all work out well.

Well, that's the update for now. I must go study for the finals!! God bless everyone who visits my blog!