We all have a choice to believe in something, I choose to believe in God!

Sunday, November 4, 2012


I had such a sweet time in the Lord this morning. There's actually a special quality or unique circumstance to this, in my opinion.

It's been a long time since I've attended a church service. There's a reason for that. Although I spent years in church and faithful service attendance, there was always an inherent knowing that it wasn't supposed to be that way. I always knew in my spirit that it was more of a "man's objective" to get me there than it was ever God's objective. I felt obligated to go because I was being preached to that God is worthy and expects our devotion and that "if I love Him then I'll want to come." It's funny how none of those preachers ever considered that each of us are spoken to separately by God and that what God says to one He may not be saying to another. I suppose none of them ever considered that this one Christian was sitting in that pew thinking, "But I love Him with all my heart and I can tell you with that same whole heart that I don't want to be here."

Was every service a miserable time? No..of course not! I had many great moments in the Spirit but that never overcame the feeling that I was not commanded of God in any way to attend church. If that was God's objective with His children,wouldn't church either be designed as a home thing for all those who can't get out of bed due to being handicapped; or wouldn't He have made the way for nobody to ever be so sick they couldn't attend?

It was never about anything other than what I knew in my heart which lined up with the scriptures. "Whom the Son has made free is free indeed," and "Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, thus saith the Lord."

They say that you're not growing if you're not asking questions. If you refuse to change or you never question anything, then you're swayed by every doctrine and word of man that comes along. I began to realize that I wasn't dragging myself into Sunday services all those years because God wanted me there. If He did, He certainly was doing very little or nothing at all to fill me with the desire to do so. Did I ever consider that it was intended to be a sacrifice on my end, sure I did, but I still hated it and loved God and so therein lied the contradiction in my soul. I knew I had to change it and get my soul to line up with the Word. I decided to stop attending and if God was going to be upset with me for it, He would do what needed to be done within me to put me right. I woke that first Sunday and didn't go to church. But guess what happened? I felt His same presence and the knowing that I was loved and accepted of God as always had. I felt no conviction, no fear that I had done wrong, just peace. 

That was almost a year ago and I am changed very little. I have slipped up once or twice and used a potty word whereas I was stronger than that while in church. I have examined that and sought out the reasons for that change to take place. I know it's because I'm not surrounded by my fellow Christians and their prayers but have been forgotten of them (as none of them ever sought me when I just quit showing up after 5 years of being a permanent fixture in the second row on the left). I was also educated in the words of the Bible enough to know that one falls away and goes back to the hog pens of the world. I understood that concept. But I had not done that. The devil tried to tell me I had, but what I actually had done was allowed a weak moment of emotion to take me over and I spouted off a word unkind. Not quite the same as returning to the hog pens from which the Lord had delivered me.

Here's the great part! I worried that the lies the enemy whispered were true and he was successful at making me feel conflicted. But true to form, God rose up and took care to see to me. He understands us when we venture off and is like the father of any toddler, rushing over to take that child by the arm if they get to far away. 

Here's how religion works: 

  • Show up for church service on Sunday at 9:00 a.m. Faithful attendance is important for appearances.
  • If you really want to fit in, wear your dress but not too low cut, and the hem can't be too high or you'll be frowned upon, you trollop. 
  • Sing your hymns and quote your scriptures. This makes you appear pious and godly.
  • Sing in the choir, volunteer in the kitchen, or to go out and knock on doors. This shows what a good worker for the Lord you are.
  • Give your tithe because there's no way God can keep the building lit without your money. Remember, it's your way of giving back all that He gives to you (even though that's not the heart of Jesus to get back what He gives).

But here's how spirituality and being with God in a personal relationship works: 

  • Get up on a Sunday morning realizing that if you're not perfect and that God will not cast you away from Him if you don't go to church and conform to the church crowd's ways.
  • You can boast in your weakness for Jesus already did the work on the cross. 
  • If you're truly saved then it's not by anything you do but by the grace of God that you go forward. 
  • Trust His Spirit to speak to you and guide you. 
  • He's there at all times so if you're on the wrong path or doing the wrong thing, He's going to let you know and as the Bible says, "it's hard to kick against the pricks." 
  • If He has a message for you, a healing, or anything along those lines, He knows how to get that message to you.
  • When you fail, nobody is going to call you names like "backslider."
  • Realize that if you read the Bible to be following the rules, you'll never receive the message He has for you because you're in the way.
  • God has provided you with what you need to live daily, realize that He wouldn't ask you to give that back to Him if He has given it to you. It pleasures Him to give. God's very nature of grace and grace is bestowed. He loves to love us!
  • Be in touch with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It comes in simple knowledge of good and bad, right and wrong. Follow that which is good and God will add to you in your decisions. If you follow after the wrong thing, He'll just be there to remind you of who you are in Christ and gently guide you back on the path, but again, it's not by your deeds that He will do a new thing. It's always about Him and what He can do in and through us.

Now, here's where God just does what He does for His children without our help. I woke up, the same as every Sunday for the past year, but this time I felt compelled. I was compelled by God to go online and find The Resurrection Fellowship Church of Loveland Colorado . First, I couldn't remember to save my life what the name of it was. Our blogger Christian sister Monica of the blog "Wandering Heart" , had recommended "The Rez" to me (above link) months ago. I couldn't remember the name of it, the town it was in, or the pastors name but I had a lot of worship time with them so it was odd that I couldn't remember. Suddenly, the Lord says, "Google Colorado churches" and then I heard Him say, "Loveland" which is the town it's in, bingo. I logged in and He flooded me with His Spirit. I worshiped as I hadn't in a long time and felt His sweet presence as we communed. It just so happened to be their communion service online. I got to watch their live broadcast, which incidentally had only just begun when I logged on. I didn't even know what time it was. Another indicator that it was His desire for me is that I usually study until 3 a.m. and sleep until about 11 a.m., but this morning the clocks fell back and I woke early for no reason. That put my rising at around 9 a.m., the same time the church service began online. I was just going to open the website and find a sermon of God's choosing. Instead, they had just started the live feed. It was immensely sweet! Tears streamed down my face, I couldn't stop weeping, He was just with me and through me. 

That's a spiritual connection, not a religious one. I add that I've been praying under my breath for weeks that God would touch me, and He did! See, I didn't have to be in church. I just had to be with God in my heart and soul and He reached out to me for the sole purpose of giving.

In closing, I say that when God calls, He calls. It's never about our efforts. That's where the devil steers us wrong and into our own ways. It's counter-indicative of what Jesus did on that cross. He died to set us free from ourselves and yet millions of Christians think they should "do" something in order to find God on a daily basis, or to be whole, or to be right, etc. Now, if you're called into a ministry, yes...for sure...do what you're compelled to do for that's your place if you feel sure and convicted that it's the right thing. But I would tell you that if you're a Christian and you don't think church is for you, then it's okay for you not to go. God is still going to love you and use you, and visit you, and speak to you because it's not about us and our works, it's about HIM and HIS. It's always been about HIS love for us and what HE does to show us grace and mercy when we fail. If we continue to try to do things to be right then we will miss the mark and lose sight of what Jesus did on the cross to make us all free! 

Blessings and hugs to you all!