We all have a choice to believe in something, I choose to believe in God!

Thursday, June 28, 2012


Do you know that I would rather have an open door policy to everyone and give the benefit of the doubt, rather than assume and judge someone straight out of the gate? I would. That's how I feel I should deal with the new relationships/friendships I forge in life. I do not want to assume that someone is bad immediately just based on a comment or two. I do not want to mistreat someone just because they want to mistreat me. So why do people force you into that position? How could kindness and love mean so little to some people? What is that called? Is that "possession"? As in, demon possessed?

I feel like a naive person sometimes. When hate touches me I don't understand it. I don't know what it was that just hit me. I kind of stand there and look amazed and rather stupefied. My heart just beats out of my chest and I feel this great rush of fear. I think..."what just happened here?"

I will do anything to avoid this feeling. I will also do anything I can to make sure that what has happened wasn't deserved by me and if it was, I must make it right. I must seek peace and forgiveness at all costs. But I also have to realize that some people are not out for peace..but they are out for the proverbial blood. They want to hurt you and nothing you say or do will make that better. One has to realize that they came into your life with this "demon" spirit of hate in their hearts so the odds of your kindness driving it out are slim to none. I found out for myself that anyone who comes with an ill will towards me has come determined to fulfill the mission. This is very sad and very tragic.

In the grand scheme of things, I wasn't called to sort such things out necessarily, but to understand the nature of the beast and then to slay it. I am nothing more but a David to the world of Goliaths in this respect. I am so small in this big world. I have a big love but that only works where another is willing to receive it and understand it. Other than that, we can do nothing but give such things over to God. It's wonderful to do that. To give it over to God and rest. I go through great waves of stress and anguish before I do that. It's the behavior of a foolish woman. Why do we try to deal with such things ourselves, Christians? I know who it is "with whom I have to do." I know who holds my peace in the palm of His hand, and yet, I try to cope with it and sort it out. Then, at the end of a long and arduous journey I am left confused and hurting. For no reason save for the fact that I could have saved myself the trouble by just saying, "Lord, what just happened there? I don't understand and I'm gonna step away from it. This is clearly a matter of the soul...for this one's soul is blackened and this one's heart is so hardened that I can not fix this. I leave it in your capable hands."

What happens when I choose the option of leaving it with God and stepping away? I have the same rush of emotion but it's in the form of peace. He rescues me every time. Non-believers assume that it's just a mental state that I might be putting myself in. I know me better than that. And besides, how does one go from complete confusion and hurt to complete peace and rest without having any more understanding than they did when the incident occurred? You have to find understanding in order to claim that you are the one that found your way through and solved the problem. I don't have that. I just have this peace that it's dealt with. It's like having your own bodyguard and him being a regular Hercules who would give his life for you and then you being able to fall in love with him. It's the best of both worlds. Love and protection and security and eternal union, all at once.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012


How many of my brothers/sisters in Christ would agree with me that God is love? How many of you would agree with me that love is the primary thing in Christianity? How many of you would agree that if we are to choose anything when interacting with others that we are to choose to, "love thy neighbors as ourselves?" How many of you would agree that, when you get to heaven, the likelihood of God telling you that, "you didn't pass judgment, condemnation, and hate off on others enough," is what He'll be saying to you more than welcoming you home? How many of you believe the scriptures that tell us that "God so loved the world that..."? How many of you see the great love that Jesus showed during His time with us, as well as the act of sacrifice He made on the cross? How many of you believe that the sacrifice Jesus made was not a show of courage, a badge of honor, a door to war,  or a statement telling us that, "My death will give you power to judge, hate and condemn"?

If you agree with most or all of those questions, then I believe you understand what it truthfully means to be a Christian, and I believe you know Jesus personally so as to understand His nature and purpose for sacrificing His life on that cross.

That being established, I will now make my statement of love for all of God's creation, all people, all races, cultures, faiths, and beliefs. That includes homosexuals. And I will tell you that if you are being taught in church that homosexuals are not loved by the Lord and that you've been given some kind of special honorable place on the right hand of Jesus to pass condemnation and judgement on a homosexual individual, that you are being mislead. You're sitting under the teachings of the enemy. You're being taught how to have hate in your heart and how to spread that disease to others. You're being told that God sent Jesus to endue you with the power of judgement and dishonorable hate, rather than a special love that can only be understood if Jesus is in your heart.

How does it feel to be in the presence of the Lord in a powerful Holy Spirit-filled church service or a meeting of any kind where people gather in the name of Jesus? If you've ever had the Holy Spirit anoint you, you know pure love and pure joy. A moment that you'll never experience outside of that wonderful presence. I've been under the anointing, I've had the Holy Spirit descend on me many times. I am still under the anointing. And if He hasn't led me to anything else, He's led me to love. He's led me to understand the difference between His gracious, merciful, love and the hate that's being taught in His name.

You can't take me word for anything unless this message is specifically for you based on an attitude of hate you may be feeling towards people who have a same sex partner as their wife/husband or mate. God may be talking to you through me.

I have a very good healthy fear of God. I won't speak about things that I feel or believe unless it's been written on my heart and I'm firm, without doubt, and have been to the Lord about it. Only when there's 0% doubt and 100% confirmation from Him that I'm on the right path, can I believe my own thoughts. I have to feel compelled in Christ to speak out against something that other Christians seem to be embracing. In this case, hating, condemning, judging, disowning, and/or mocking people who claim homosexuality.

Now, that being said, I'll propose to you that ours is a God of love. In the end of times when we must stand before Him, He's going to ask us why we didn't behave as Jesus' example taught. We're going to be held accountable for every ounce of pain and suffering we've caused another. The Bible is not specific about that in regards to sexual preferences of others. It's specific about that with regards to anyone who has a heartbeat and lives on this earth.

If you were gay, how would you feel if the very people that the world perceives to have a safe haven of warmth and love to offer, turned on you and referred to you as an abomination, hated, unloved, unwanted, sick, in need of help, worthy of hell fire? Do we honestly believe that God will judge those who are gay but won't judge us for hating them? How, if you have the nature of Christ, can you hate someone? What two people do is between them and God. We're not their judges. Jesus didn't die on the cross to give us governing rights over their lives. Jesus never told one disciple to go and make destruction of people's sex lives/personal preferences. He said, "go and make fishers of men."

There's not a preacher out there that will ever convince me that this judgement is right and asked of us by God. God is able to judge and draw without our help. How is a person going to receive a healing if the church is spreading condemnation, hate, and judgement about it? How is a person going to feel safe to come forward and seek spiritual counsel when the church has gone so far astray (not all churches and not all people) that they don't know which church they can turn to? Only a church that sets a bulletin up, makes a commercial, and holds a news conference in their town telling the gay community that they love and accept them and are there if needed for any reason, can be trusted by that individual. As it stands now, there's so much hate coming from within the church body that the entire country is confused by whether we are the good guys or the bad guys.

Look within your heart for the word of the Lord before you decide to ask the preacher, ask a friend, read a devotional, or even the Bible. Ask God first and then let His Holy Spirit guide you to the answer you seek. Then, wait for confirmation before you begin to let the knowledge you've gained manifest in your outward behaviors towards others.

When one knows the nature of God and His wonderful all-encompassing love, does it make sense that, in the grand scheme of things and in His great wisdom, He would throw a soul into hell for having unnatural sex? You see, God is love and so therefore, He finds that in us. That's what He nurtures, waters, and cultivates in His children. If two people are in love then why would God say to them, "I know you're in love and that your love for one another is pure, and it's just what I expect and what's good and right, but since in this fleeting vapor of life, you had some unnatural sex in the flesh [which passes away] I'm going to have to throw you into the trash pile. I know I know, 'but you're in love' and that's what I'm all about. But since there were those moments of fleshly pleasure that I gave all creation to experience, you'll have to burn in hell for that. But, hey, I'm love and I so loved the world that I sent my only son to die a horrible sacrificial death [out of love] for you, but that's nothing compared to your physical unnatural acts."

Really think about it! To tell the world that our sinful acts are so bad that our God will wholly and completely condemn for it doesn't speak one word towards the grace and mercy that He is and has shown generations and generations of people. Instead, what you're telling the world is that our sins are greater than His love. Personally, I think you're treading a very fine line when you choose to condemn, judge, and hate a homosexual person and simply justify your decision by saying, "it's a sin." There are more than many that won't agree with me. They'll just see me as a liberal Christian. Well, here I sit with complete peace with God. No convictions, no second guessing this. Just complete peace, love, and joy in His presence. I know that I know that I know that the attitude towards homosexuality is a work of the devil designed to bring division and hate into the hearts of God's children. And it's working.

The fact is that, homosexuality was spoken against in the Old Testament by God because it kept the children of Israel from multiplying quickly during a time when God was working to make a great nation out of them. It was also one of the stipulations under the letter of the law. We are "no longer under the letter of the law but are ye now under grace." And what is grace? "sufficient." If we are born into sin, then we're sinful creatures. "There's none good, no not one." I believe that we all fall under the category then. Homosexuality is just one more thing in the long list of things we as humans do that can be considered abhorred by God, detestable, reprehensible. We're all guilty of something. If you're full of detestable contempt for another human, then you're no better than they for the thing you detest them for.

Here's a link of about 13 items that fall under the category of "abomination" . You'll find the word to relate to the eating of certain foods, mostly. It's about unclean, not unforgivable. It's about the letter of the law, not the grace extended to us through the blood of Jesus Christ. It's about God seeing mankind and realizing that we will never be able to measure up to His holy goodness and that Jesus made a way for us to receive His grace. If you're going to offer something to someone outside of the faith and the church, it should be compassion, understanding, warmth, a good listening ear, and above all LOVE.

Thank you for reading this post. It's much longer than I usually post but then again, that shows that I'm talking in the Spirit because I'm very sure of this and very passionate about condemning the devil's lies back into hell with him.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


Here's today's revelation:
God says, "place your faith in me." But man is saying, "I believe this book (Holy Bible)." I'm a bit alarmed by how many Christians are falling back on the book rather than falling back on the Lord. Everything they do and say seems to be coming out of the book and not from a place of knowing.

I once had a friend who's teenage daughter got herself pregnant. My friend was so devastated that she decided to force an abortion. The following Sunday, she takes my hand and leads me to the preacher's office. We sit down together (I for support) and she begins to describe the scenario being played out at home. She tells him that she sees no other options if she's going to save her child from "destroying her future." To which the preacher replies, "well whatever you do, do all for the glory of God." That's a direct quote from the Bible. After I picked up my jaw, I compulsively spat out, "so you're telling her that abortion is ok as long as she does it for God's glory?" And he replied, "I don't question it, it's what the Bible says."

That's about the time I really started to question the teachings I was sitting under in church. Would God want her to force an abortion on her own child so she can give her child the future she wants her daughter to have? How would that glorify God? How do you tell others about the glory God gets for that? I mulled that over in my mind for a long time and never could I come to a conclusion. Was I right and he wrong? I don't know. I don't see abortion as a legitimate option when adoption is more plausible and will allow God's creation to live and have what we have....life. Ok, so I'm pro-life. That's easily explained.

Here's what I'm saying. I have a mind, heart, and a soul. That's pretty much where I believe I can find God. I know He gave us the book to refer to for answers. But that's not where He is. He is found within the heart. He dwells within in us. When it's time to meet with Him, we look within. We talk to Him. We search ourselves for truth and look to Him for confirmation or conviction. 

Reading the Bible is for reference. It helps to learn the nature of God and to know how things happened all those years ago. But, I'll go out on a limb here and say that God is not in the Bible. The Bible is of this world. It's solid. You can see it and touch it. It's temporal. There's no difference in that book and the rest of what we see here. It was penned by mankind. We have to be cautious about just looking to a book for all of our answers because we're throwing away God in place of the words in that book. He never told us that He can be found in that book or that when we need Him, open the book. He doesn't tell us that all He is can be found in the book. Or to look to the book for our answers. The devil is working daily to pull us away from God and he uses the book as a weapon against us when we don't look to God but look for our answers in the book. It is the good book, but it's not God.

I can also be found enjoying my life at my Google+ . I invite you to be a part of the community there. 

Sunday, June 3, 2012


One foot in front of the other. That's what I'm feeling today. I'm just exhausted for some reason. But, I have no right to complain. Which brings up the subject of complaining.

I was doing my dinner dishes when I looked over from the side I was rinsing in to see that the plug had been dislodged and my water was draining away. Grrr. That made me so mad! My mind immediately says, (quite out loud through my big mouth), "this house is such a money pit....like I can afford the hot water and soap for it to just trickle away....stupid plug (while I frantically tried to secure it in it's place)....Lord, can't you see that I need to move from here?....look at this nonsense....(and on and on for a bit).

Suddenly, a realization grips me. Was it God reminding me of what I needed reminding of? Or, was it me catching myself and helping myself to be reasonable and more understanding? I don't know. What I do know is that suddenly and without warning, I saw a mother holding her infant. The child is withered and losing its battle to survive. The mother has no milk in her breast to feed the child as she herself hasn't eaten in many days. Their future is uncertain. She doesn't expect her child to survive much longer and she has no hope of saving the infant.

That's a horrific mental image. That's a heart-wrenching scenario and I'm weeping with the thought of this mother..who is all too real. She is, and her child is. They two together are dying right now somewhere.

That's a typical scenario being played out daily somewhere in this world. And yet, I'm complaining because my hot, soapy water is draining away and I'll have to pay a bit extra for the hot water heater to generate some more, and then drizzle more detergent in. Why am I bothered with such chores? Because I have so many dishes from all those meals I get to eat everyday so that I have to get up from my leisure and do the things we Americans have to do. We have to drive our cars to the store and buy more food. We have to stand around in the horrible store and fret over which product is the tastiest. Then we have to dig around through our money to find the right change....so horrible a time consuming thing. Then, there's all that lugging of groceries into the house. Thank God the air conditioner is on because I think I would just die if I had to come into this house without air. (all said with sarcasm)

Even as I type those words, I feel a horrible disgust. Disgusting that I could complain over something so trivial. I have absolutely no right and no justification. I have earned nothing. God has blessed me a million fold. I don't have an understanding of hunger, or how it feels to have that nagging sensation that turns into an insane gnawing. I don't understand the misery of inescapable heat. I have never experienced the tragedy of my child being too hungry to lift his head to look at me with pleading eyes. I have never experienced that kind of helplessness.

In America, complaining is such a common and expected thing, that we have services set up to take someone's complaint. Customer service representatives get paid to sit on the phone for 8-10 hours a day and just take our petty complaints. "I paid $3,000 for this wide screen wall mounted television, and now the remote don't work. I want my money back, or I want another new television. NO..I don't want another remote..I want a new television." Says, the complainant.  

"I want," "I want," "I want." "I'm entitled." "You owe me." "That's not good enough, I want a new one." "I can't believe I'm being treated this way, who's your supervisor?" Pompous, arrogant, sense of entitlement. We should be hoping God doesn't reverse the roles and let us experience the other side of humanity. The darkest side. The side where there's little to no hope and no one is there to save us.

Lord forgive us. Forgive us our ingratitude. Forgive us our gluttony and sense of entitlement. Forgive us our greed and self love. Forgive us for serving ourselves to the point of fatness and then feeling like it's an injustice when we can't have what we want. Forgive us Lord, for it seems as if we know not what we do.