...UP FROM THE MIRE

I'm moving forward with the good news. My previous posts have eluded to some difficulties in my life, and in particular, "the pickle" I was in. Well, the "pickle problem" is resolved as well as all the others, in their entirety and completely! I can give myself none of the glory for I have no idea how these things resolved themselves. I can't say I did anything to resolve them other than feel the compelling of the Holy Spirit to guide me to the places I should go to in order to get the resolve I needed. If I was without the Lord, would I have been able to do as well?

Which brings me to how I see myself in this situation. I see myself as Jeremiah was when they threw him into the dungeon and he sunk in the mire. (Jeremiah chpt 38). First was the help that was compelled to him in Jeremiah 38:9. Then was the command given by order of the King (in my mind it's the Lord) in verse 10 and the King commands that it be done, "....before he die.." It was a command to take 30 men (isn't that the same number assigned to the pieces of silver that Judas betrayed Jesus for? hm). And then the most interesting thing is that they didn't just throw down a rope, but fashioned something comfortable for him to put under his arms so as to free him without harming him, in verse 11.

Isn't that just like the Lord in a situation? He sends more than enough help, sends it before you can't take anymore and you think it's over (in the dramatic proverbial way), and then the release from the mire you've sunk in is rather comfortable as he gently pulls you out. That's the God I know. I give Him all glory for hearing my cries from the dungeon of my life. I give Him all praise for seeing me worthy of rescue. I give Him all thanks for gently pulling me free and setting me in a safe place where there's hope.

ONE STEP FORWARD

I feel it's always our responsibility to share the good news of what God does in our lives after we've wept about the things that went wrong.

Some of the issues I was facing during the previous post have been resolved but not all. I'm still in that pickle that I'm not sure I'll get out of. With that, I'm trying to see all the blessings that can be in it. There are some, but when I think about the situation, I just take a deep breath and let it out in a kind of exasperated way. I'm not the only one with troubles but may be I tend to see mine more than others do. I was diagnosed early in life with clinical depression and I read once that people with depression have an uncontrollable tendency to be drawn to the negative things in life instead of the positive. I find myself working against that quite a bit so it must be true.

Despite all of that, life isn't over yet and I have work to do. I forge ahead knowing that God has always been with me and will always be.

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"..."For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35,38,39

"SORROW LASTS THROUGH THE NIGHT..."

This post should be all about great things and good living. That's not my life though. I don't have that peaceful life that doesn't contain any hardships or trials. In fact, most of my life is one big hardship and trial. It seems never ending.


Just a week and a half ago, I stood on my porch and looked out over the lovely valley and the mountains and thought, I feel pretty good about life. I've enjoyed a good few days. Nothing bad seems to have happened and everything seems good. That's when these exact words sprung from my heart without provocation or ability to suppress them, "Lord, help me prepare for what's to come because everything has been too good for too long and that can only mean one thing, it's about to get bad."


Now, "...too good for too long..." doesn't mean I've been dancing in high cotton and money fell from the sky while I did so. It just means that I noticed an unusual trend of joy and peace for an unusually long time, like almost an entire month. Within 2 days of me making that outward prayer, the first wave hit! I am in a particular pickle that I'm not even sure I can get out of. But it feels somewhat like a form of devastation to me. Next 2 days, the second wave hit! A problem that should be easily solved were I to rent from good people who care about their property more than they do. This issue is still up in the air. And then 2 days more and the third wave hit! A storm that caused major damage, widespread power outage in this summer heat, and cost me more than I'm able to lose. I was able to weather the last "wave" and leave the house for the days that my power was out. But, within 30 mins of coming home, the 4th wave hit! The air in the water lines of my home was severe enough to blast the cap off the tower in the back of the toilet and water spewed everywhere because I didn't know to turn it off first and foremost. It took me a few moments of squealing freakish behavior to realize that the only way to stop the water was to turn it off. Sigh.


I'm home, I'm safe, it could have been worse. I was blessed and carried, but not on the golden wings of some magical dove of peace. It was more like, I was carried to hell on earth, a.k.a., my brother-in-law's house, by the dragon of crapworld. "Crapworld" being where my brother-in-law and my 17 yr old nephew live. Two country boys living without a woman. That house was a disaster. No clean dishes, a flea bag dog that refuses to do his business outside, and ugh...I can't continue with the description. I was there for a few days and I spent the entire time cleaning just so it was habitable for myself. Why did I stay there? Because it's just minutes from my house and I needed to be able to drive back and forth to check for the power to be on. I also had to check on my plants because it was extremely hot in here. I also had to come home and completely empty the fridge and freezer on the 2nd day when it was obvious that the food wouldn't make it. I had to do as much as possible to get everything out that could leave an odor or form green fuzz. Essentially, I was cleaning both houses for those days that the power was out.


I wish I could jump up and down and praise God, but for now I'm in that place where I can say, "thank you for what I have been blessed with Lord and that it wasn't worse," but the super praise isn't in me. There's so much uncertainty that it hangs over me like a cloud. I have to make some kind of move to strengthen my faith. I need that boost of faith that always gets me through. I need a refreshing. I need to be strengthened and reassured that "the sorrow may last through the night but the joy comes with the morning." Lord, let the morning arrive soon.

THE BODY/HEART/SOUL/MIND/SPIRIT GUARD

Do you know that I would rather have an open door policy to everyone and give the benefit of the doubt, rather than assume and judge someone straight out of the gate? I would. That's how I feel I should deal with the new relationships/friendships I forge in life. I do not want to assume that someone is bad immediately just based on a comment or two. I do not want to mistreat someone just because they want to mistreat me. So why do people force you into that position? How could kindness and love mean so little to some people? What is that called? Is that "possession"? As in, demon possessed?


I feel like a naive person sometimes. When hate touches me I don't understand it. I don't know what it was that just hit me. I kind of stand there and look amazed and rather stupefied. My heart just beats out of my chest and I feel this great rush of fear. I think..."what just happened here?"


I will do anything to avoid this feeling. I will also do anything I can to make sure that what has happened wasn't deserved by me and if it was, I must make it right. I must seek peace and forgiveness at all costs. But I also have to realize that some people are not out for peace..but they are out for the proverbial blood. They want to hurt you and nothing you say or do will make that better. One has to realize that they came into your life with this "demon" spirit of hate in their hearts so the odds of your kindness driving it out are slim to none. I found out for myself that anyone who comes with an ill will towards me has come determined to fulfill the mission. This is very sad and very tragic.


In the grand scheme of things, I wasn't called to sort such things out necessarily, but to understand the nature of the beast and then to slay it. I am nothing more but a David to the world of Goliaths in this respect. I am so small in this big world. I have a big love but that only works where another is willing to receive it and understand it. Other than that, we can do nothing but give such things over to God. It's wonderful to do that. To give it over to God and rest. I go through great waves of stress and anguish before I do that. It's the behavior of a foolish woman. Why do we try to deal with such things ourselves, Christians? I know who it is "with whom I have to do." I know who holds my peace in the palm of His hand, and yet, I try to cope with it and sort it out. Then, at the end of a long and arduous journey I am left confused and hurting. For no reason save for the fact that I could have saved myself the trouble by just saying, "Lord, what just happened there? I don't understand and I'm gonna step away from it. This is clearly a matter of the soul...for this one's soul is blackened and this one's heart is so hardened that I can not fix this. I leave it in your capable hands."


What happens when I choose the option of leaving it with God and stepping away? I have the same rush of emotion but it's in the form of peace. He rescues me every time. Non-believers assume that it's just a mental state that I might be putting myself in. I know me better than that. And besides, how does one go from complete confusion and hurt to complete peace and rest without having any more understanding than they did when the incident occurred? You have to find understanding in order to claim that you are the one that found your way through and solved the problem. I don't have that. I just have this peace that it's dealt with. It's like having your own bodyguard and him being a regular Hercules who would give his life for you and then you being able to fall in love with him. It's the best of both worlds. Love and protection and security and eternal union, all at once.

"LOVE FOR ALL" MEANS FOR ALL

How many of my brothers/sisters in Christ would agree with me that God is love? How many of you would agree with me that love is the primary thing in Christianity? How many of you would agree that if we are to choose anything when interacting with others that we are to choose to, "love thy neighbors as ourselves?" How many of you would agree that, when you get to heaven, the likelihood of God telling you that, "you didn't pass judgment, condemnation, and hate off on others enough," is what He'll be saying to you more than welcoming you home? How many of you believe the scriptures that tell us that "God so loved the world that..."? How many of you see the great love that Jesus showed during His time with us, as well as the act of sacrifice He made on the cross? How many of you believe that the sacrifice Jesus made was not a show of courage, a badge of honor, a door to war,  or a statement telling us that, "My death will give you power to judge, hate and condemn"?

If you agree with most or all of those questions, then I believe you understand what it truthfully means to be a Christian, and I believe you know Jesus personally so as to understand His nature and purpose for sacrificing His life on that cross.

That being established, I will now make my statement of love for all of God's creation, all people, all races, cultures, faiths, and beliefs. That includes homosexuals. And I will tell you that if you are being taught in church that homosexuals are not loved by the Lord and that you've been given some kind of special honorable place on the right hand of Jesus to pass condemnation and judgement on a homosexual individual, that you are being mislead. You're sitting under the teachings of the enemy. You're being taught how to have hate in your heart and how to spread that disease to others. You're being told that God sent Jesus to endue you with the power of judgement and dishonorable hate, rather than a special love that can only be understood if Jesus is in your heart.

How does it feel to be in the presence of the Lord in a powerful Holy Spirit-filled church service or a meeting of any kind where people gather in the name of Jesus? If you've ever had the Holy Spirit anoint you, you know pure love and pure joy. A moment that you'll never experience outside of that wonderful presence. I've been under the anointing, I've had the Holy Spirit descend on me many times. I am still under the anointing. And if He hasn't led me to anything else, He's led me to love. He's led me to understand the difference between His gracious, merciful, love and the hate that's being taught in His name.

You can't take me word for anything unless this message is specifically for you based on an attitude of hate you may be feeling towards people who have a same sex partner as their wife/husband or mate. God may be talking to you through me.

I have a very good healthy fear of God. I won't speak about things that I feel or believe unless it's been written on my heart and I'm firm, without doubt, and have been to the Lord about it. Only when there's 0% doubt and 100% confirmation from Him that I'm on the right path, can I believe my own thoughts. I have to feel compelled in Christ to speak out against something that other Christians seem to be embracing. In this case, hating, condemning, judging, disowning, and/or mocking people who claim homosexuality.

Now, that being said, I'll propose to you that ours is a God of love. In the end of times when we must stand before Him, He's going to ask us why we didn't behave as Jesus' example taught. We're going to be held accountable for every ounce of pain and suffering we've caused another. The Bible is not specific about that in regards to sexual preferences of others. It's specific about that with regards to anyone who has a heartbeat and lives on this earth.

If you were gay, how would you feel if the very people that the world perceives to have a safe haven of warmth and love to offer, turned on you and referred to you as an abomination, hated, unloved, unwanted, sick, in need of help, worthy of hell fire? Do we honestly believe that God will judge those who are gay but won't judge us for hating them? How, if you have the nature of Christ, can you hate someone? What two people do is between them and God. We're not their judges. Jesus didn't die on the cross to give us governing rights over their lives. Jesus never told one disciple to go and make destruction of people's sex lives/personal preferences. He said, "go and make fishers of men."

There's not a preacher out there that will ever convince me that this judgement is right and asked of us by God. God is able to judge and draw without our help. How is a person going to receive a healing if the church is spreading condemnation, hate, and judgement about it? How is a person going to feel safe to come forward and seek spiritual counsel when the church has gone so far astray (not all churches and not all people) that they don't know which church they can turn to? Only a church that sets a bulletin up, makes a commercial, and holds a news conference in their town telling the gay community that they love and accept them and are there if needed for any reason, can be trusted by that individual. As it stands now, there's so much hate coming from within the church body that the entire country is confused by whether we are the good guys or the bad guys.

Look within your heart for the word of the Lord before you decide to ask the preacher, ask a friend, read a devotional, or even the Bible. Ask God first and then let His Holy Spirit guide you to the answer you seek. Then, wait for confirmation before you begin to let the knowledge you've gained manifest in your outward behaviors towards others.

When one knows the nature of God and His wonderful all-encompassing love, does it make sense that, in the grand scheme of things and in His great wisdom, He would throw a soul into hell for having unnatural sex? You see, God is love and so therefore, He finds that in us. That's what He nurtures, waters, and cultivates in His children. If two people are in love then why would God say to them, "I know you're in love and that your love for one another is pure, and it's just what I expect and what's good and right, but since in this fleeting vapor of life, you had some unnatural sex in the flesh [which passes away] I'm going to have to throw you into the trash pile. I know I know, 'but you're in love' and that's what I'm all about. But since there were those moments of fleshly pleasure that I gave all creation to experience, you'll have to burn in hell for that. But, hey, I'm love and I so loved the world that I sent my only son to die a horrible sacrificial death [out of love] for you, but that's nothing compared to your physical unnatural acts."

Really think about it! To tell the world that our sinful acts are so bad that our God will wholly and completely condemn for it doesn't speak one word towards the grace and mercy that He is and has shown generations and generations of people. Instead, what you're telling the world is that our sins are greater than His love. Personally, I think you're treading a very fine line when you choose to condemn, judge, and hate a homosexual person and simply justify your decision by saying, "it's a sin." There are more than many that won't agree with me. They'll just see me as a liberal Christian. Well, here I sit with complete peace with God. No convictions, no second guessing this. Just complete peace, love, and joy in His presence. I know that I know that I know that the attitude towards homosexuality is a work of the devil designed to bring division and hate into the hearts of God's children. And it's working.

The fact is that, homosexuality was spoken against in the Old Testament by God because it kept the children of Israel from multiplying quickly during a time when God was working to make a great nation out of them. It was also one of the stipulations under the letter of the law. We are "no longer under the letter of the law but are ye now under grace." And what is grace? "sufficient." If we are born into sin, then we're sinful creatures. "There's none good, no not one." I believe that we all fall under the category then. Homosexuality is just one more thing in the long list of things we as humans do that can be considered abhorred by God, detestable, reprehensible. We're all guilty of something. If you're full of detestable contempt for another human, then you're no better than they for the thing you detest them for.

Here's a link of about 13 items that fall under the category of "abomination" . You'll find the word to relate to the eating of certain foods, mostly. It's about unclean, not unforgivable. It's about the letter of the law, not the grace extended to us through the blood of Jesus Christ. It's about God seeing mankind and realizing that we will never be able to measure up to His holy goodness and that Jesus made a way for us to receive His grace. If you're going to offer something to someone outside of the faith and the church, it should be compassion, understanding, warmth, a good listening ear, and above all LOVE.

Thank you for reading this post. It's much longer than I usually post but then again, that shows that I'm talking in the Spirit because I'm very sure of this and very passionate about condemning the devil's lies back into hell with him.