We all have a choice to believe in something, I choose to believe in God!

Sunday, July 29, 2012


What does evil feel like? It feels icky and ugly. It leaves a residue behind like glue or resin. It sticks to you and leaves you shaken and unwell. It leaves you confused and feeling doubt. The difference between the evils of my youth and the present day evils is that I know what it is now.

I had an incident this morning with two individuals in a conversation. I'm not yet sure if these two people knew each other but they certainly joined forces readily. What came of the conversation left me shaken to the core, ruined my day, and made me so sad. It was a typical conversation that anyone might have of politics and things happening in America that aren't what makes this country great. But they did not agree with my views at all. I'm not surprised and am used to that.

In a nutshell I said that border patrol agents should treat human beings like human beings whether they are illegal immigrants or not. The words I started my statement with were, "abuse by border patrol agents is rampant..." and that was all it took to launch this lady at me like a rocket. I tried desperately and respectfully to reason with her but she seemed to want to dance around the issue of humanitarian respect and tell me how I should do more research and that I was "spouting off." This is a person that had previously called herself my friend and even referred to herself and I as friends when another individual "came to my rescue." Then her friend chimed in on her behalf and it just felt like a complete piranha attack. I tried to keep steering the conversation to the issue of humanitarian respect, but she then accused me of hiding behind that to attack our border patrol agents. Long story short, I eventually saw the devil. It took a few minutes of defending myself and feeling a bit blind-sided but I finally began to see him in this.

So, what does evil feel like? It feels just like the enemy works to make it feel. You feel totally confused during the attack. You can't make sense of what's being said or done to you. You can't wrap your mind around why this individual is so angry at you and unwilling to compromise or be reasonable. You can't understand where this anger is coming from and why it's coming from your "friend" and greater still is the confusion as to why it's aimed at you. But you know one thing for sure...this is not God. God is not in these people. So, I had to make a snap decision and base it on my faith and peace. I had to tell her that I respected her opinion and was going to remain in respect of her opinion, even though it was clear that she didn't care about me, my opinions, my love for human beings (the issue at hand), or whether I gave her respect. She seemed to only soften a bit when my reaction was pleasant but it still didn't shut her down. She was determined to fire off rapidly at me and be as rude and nasty as possible. I was in awe of the evil and darkness. I could have touched it because it was tangible.

I'm not writing this to give the devil glory. I'm writing this to tell you what evil feels like and to share with you that this is my idea of the real world. Every day we may be faced with a choice to be just like that person and mistreat them in retaliation or we can remember from where we came and call on the Lord for grace and show a level of peace, light, and love that can squelch the evil. I carried that with me throughout this day and as you can see, it's still profoundly with me. Evil affects me deeply. I am unable to pretend like it didn't happen or I didn't feel anything. I did feel something. I felt confused, icky, darkness, something I don't want to feel again.

I also felt the hand of God reach into the situation and pull me out. He remained strong within me, gave me grace to speak with, and sent an angel to defend me. God knew right where I was at that moment. My spiritual eyes could see Him hearing my heart's cries. It's like seeing a father at the park with his child and his back to the play area. Imagine him hearing his child get hurt and start crying. Imagine that father spinning around in response to the sound of his child in distress and then bolting over to sweep the child into safety and a loving embrace. That's my God :)


  1. The hand of God always reaches to pull us out. Thank you. You are invited to follow my blogs.

    1. Hi Joy,

      Indeed he does! I'll come by as soon as possible, thank you for the invite. Thanks for adding a positive word!

  2. Oh Man!
    As my mother would say, "just pray for them because all that is missing is Jesus."
    Because Jesusless people have so much anger, and ugliness inside them. Some hide it and try to do good deeds. But it is still there. And it eventually comes pouring out of their hearts. Like a wellspring or waterfall.
    And Satan rides that tidewave of hate, anger, and ugliness and aims for his enemy. The family of God. Because he is jealous. We were made in HIS image and he wasn't.

    People don't understand love in it's purest from. They don't understand that if they were hungry and trying to provide for their family in a gang torn country that they would break the laws of immigration as well. They don't understand the desperation of the innocent Mexican fathers and mothers.

    Although I would probably rough house a drug dealer trying to cross our border. Whether that is love or not, those drug dealers are awful.

    There are a lot of narrowminded coldhearted people out there.
    Seems like you just keep getting hit and bombarded Kelline.
    You are in my prayers.
    Prayers for favor with your landlord and joy and blessings.
    Love you Sis!

    1. Hi sis,

      I think we have to pray for the whole world, don't we? That way everyone gets a touch and hopefully some change will come around! You're right about what's in the heart. The Bible tells us that "from the heart the mouth speaks."

      Now, when it comes to drug dealers, that's pushing my limits. There are women and children and men trying to provide and they bring poison that kills whole families through the process of addiction. I think the Lord would rise up in us and we'd become like the good Samaritan that helped the beaten man left by the roadside. Drug dealer or not, we'd care for him and try to save him. But that's where it ends with me. I could never watch another human suffer if I can help them.

      And don't worry about me too much. You know how God always saves me somehow. He's been rescuing me from the devil's trickery and minions all my life. Nothing is going to change now!

      Love you and thank you with my whole heart for prayers!! Thank you!!(•‿•)

    2. Speaking of "I think we have to pray for the whole world, don't we? That way everyone gets a touch and hopefully some change will come around!"
      Do you know 24/7 Prayer, yet?

      I have heard about the German branch, but our chuch community is uncoordinated relating to it somehow ... so we had had an own 24/7 prayer week ...

  3. Hi Kelline,
    I think this is one of the hardest tests we go through, to love someone who does not appear to love us. It is easy to love those who love us, yet Jesus tells us to love our enemies, do good to those who hate us and pray for those who persecute us. Yes, that is right, it is out of the heart the mouth speaks, and we can only be responsible for what comes out of our own mouth. Jesus would have us pray for all to come to the knowledge of salvation through Him, drug dealers, illegal immigrants, border workers and the lady you spoke to. He is the only one who can rescue us from our individual dark worlds, whatever they might be.

    1. Hi Brenda,

      I agree! As I told my other commenter, Monica, we'll have to pray for the whole world in one capacity or another! I firmly believe that every prayer has a legitimate place. I might have put more positive than the negative in this post, but I wanted to speak about the darkness I became surrounded by and how the Lord reacted like a loving attentive Father to my cry out for help and grace! I fail to do that effectively sometimes, but that's the gist of it.

      Again, thanks for adding some good points and encouraging words, Brenda!! You're a real source of light.

    2. Kelline,

      Thanks for sharing how God has helped you through this trial. He always gives us the tools to deal with what ever Satan throws at us, we just have to be willing to listen to the Spirit of God. Not easy to do when you find your self in the heat of an argument. Listening to and letting God bath us in his love can be hard when emotions run high. As always it is a double blessing when one shares how by being obedient to the Will of God they have prevailed over the evil one.

      It also never ceases to amaze me how Satan can use the very tools we us to try to spread the Gospel and share the love of Jesus against us.

      Thank You for this Post, I found it very encouraging.

    3. LOL...are you sure this time? LOL...sorry, Russ, I have to poke a little fun at ya. This is the post you commented on before and you didn't seem to encouraged then, LOL. (giggling). Anyway, if you're encouraged then my testimony has done it's job and if not, then perhaps you have better luck in these situations than I did. Thus is life, however. Moving forward is the main thing.

  4. Kelline, you speak from the devil as ... aggressor.
    I think, he has many faces also. (I mean, hey, he has even a bunch of names ...)
    I guess, I met another character trait ... loneliness and despair.
    I can imagine, how Solomon must have felt.

    However, dealing too much with him isn't healthy.


I invite you to speak freely, however, I ask you to speak kindly. Please do not use profanities.