The Year is 2016

It's been a while since my last post but I like it that way. I like to have things to talk about even though nobody reads my blog posts.

I'm still doing well on the anti-depressants. My suicidal thoughts and tendencies have all but vanished and I never think about death or dying. There are a few changes in my life. I go to school and I'm in the final stretch. For those who don't know, I started school to give back to my parents since I spent the first half of my life being wild and unruly.

My son has had two children since my last blog post. He's been very busy. Had them a year apart. One is my granddaughter BrookLynn Capri and the other is granddaughter Rachel Grace Marie and they're both perfect. Beautiful baby girls.

Another change worth noting is that my son and his wife are staying with me, only not. See, Grant (my son) is a long haul truck driver now and so he's never here but his girlfriend, the mother of his second daughter is here with me. We're holding down the fort while Grant is away. He'll be gone for 30 days or so. He went through so much to get his CDLs so he could drive a truck. All he's ever wanted in life is to drive large machinery. It's so cool that he's made it this far.

Other than that, that's all I have to report. Things are going well and I'm happy for the most part. I've given up religion for spirituality and life is pretty good for now.

FEELING BETTER

Well, fast forward from March 9th of 2015 wherein I uploaded my last blog post and this blog finds me doing well. I've been on Effexor anti-depressant for the past several months and it's working well for me. Before I started the medication I was very suicidal. I hated life and everything about it. I can't lie and say I love life now because I don't, but I'm bearing up under it a lot easier. I would recommend anyone who has depression like I have to get some help for it. Find a therapist and get some medication in your system. You'll feel and see a difference in yourself. I have a counselor although my true faith is in the medicine that God has provided me with. I say that because I prayed and prayed for the depression to be lifted and it wasn't until I got on the medication that it did indeed lift. So, therefore, it's not that God touches you with his finger and makes you better, it's that He leads you to the place you need to find for help. Don't be overly religious people. Prayer is about getting God to hear your cries for help so when He finally answers that prayer, don't second guess it.

I BATTLE ON

When someone says the words, "battling depression," that's exactly what they mean. It's a battle. I've been battling this thing for years although there was a brief lull during a time period where I thought I was cured. Nobody gets cured from depression. Depression is forever (or until heaven).

I started out with the extreme mood swings and that grew to rages. I got on medication and my moods are regulated. I take Wellbutrin and it seems to be the right medication, although I still struggle to get out of bed in the morning. 

I write this to ask if there's anyone else out there struggling with depression who would like to share their story with me. I wonder how many people in my internet circle of friends has this problem?

peace of iona (by Mike Scott, Waterboys) performed by the light acoustic...

Family

I don't know how it is in the lives of others but in my life, it's family that hurts me the most. May be because they know that I'll still stick around no matter how mean they are to me.