We all have a choice to believe in something, I choose to believe in God!

Sunday, November 4, 2012


I had such a sweet time in the Lord this morning. There's actually a special quality or unique circumstance to this, in my opinion.

It's been a long time since I've attended a church service. There's a reason for that. Although I spent years in church and faithful service attendance, there was always an inherent knowing that it wasn't supposed to be that way. I always knew in my spirit that it was more of a "man's objective" to get me there than it was ever God's objective. I felt obligated to go because I was being preached to that God is worthy and expects our devotion and that "if I love Him then I'll want to come." It's funny how none of those preachers ever considered that each of us are spoken to separately by God and that what God says to one He may not be saying to another. I suppose none of them ever considered that this one Christian was sitting in that pew thinking, "But I love Him with all my heart and I can tell you with that same whole heart that I don't want to be here."

Was every service a miserable time? No..of course not! I had many great moments in the Spirit but that never overcame the feeling that I was not commanded of God in any way to attend church. If that was God's objective with His children,wouldn't church either be designed as a home thing for all those who can't get out of bed due to being handicapped; or wouldn't He have made the way for nobody to ever be so sick they couldn't attend?

It was never about anything other than what I knew in my heart which lined up with the scriptures. "Whom the Son has made free is free indeed," and "Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, thus saith the Lord."

They say that you're not growing if you're not asking questions. If you refuse to change or you never question anything, then you're swayed by every doctrine and word of man that comes along. I began to realize that I wasn't dragging myself into Sunday services all those years because God wanted me there. If He did, He certainly was doing very little or nothing at all to fill me with the desire to do so. Did I ever consider that it was intended to be a sacrifice on my end, sure I did, but I still hated it and loved God and so therein lied the contradiction in my soul. I knew I had to change it and get my soul to line up with the Word. I decided to stop attending and if God was going to be upset with me for it, He would do what needed to be done within me to put me right. I woke that first Sunday and didn't go to church. But guess what happened? I felt His same presence and the knowing that I was loved and accepted of God as always had. I felt no conviction, no fear that I had done wrong, just peace. 

That was almost a year ago and I am changed very little. I have slipped up once or twice and used a potty word whereas I was stronger than that while in church. I have examined that and sought out the reasons for that change to take place. I know it's because I'm not surrounded by my fellow Christians and their prayers but have been forgotten of them (as none of them ever sought me when I just quit showing up after 5 years of being a permanent fixture in the second row on the left). I was also educated in the words of the Bible enough to know that one falls away and goes back to the hog pens of the world. I understood that concept. But I had not done that. The devil tried to tell me I had, but what I actually had done was allowed a weak moment of emotion to take me over and I spouted off a word unkind. Not quite the same as returning to the hog pens from which the Lord had delivered me.

Here's the great part! I worried that the lies the enemy whispered were true and he was successful at making me feel conflicted. But true to form, God rose up and took care to see to me. He understands us when we venture off and is like the father of any toddler, rushing over to take that child by the arm if they get to far away. 

Here's how religion works: 

  • Show up for church service on Sunday at 9:00 a.m. Faithful attendance is important for appearances.
  • If you really want to fit in, wear your dress but not too low cut, and the hem can't be too high or you'll be frowned upon, you trollop. 
  • Sing your hymns and quote your scriptures. This makes you appear pious and godly.
  • Sing in the choir, volunteer in the kitchen, or to go out and knock on doors. This shows what a good worker for the Lord you are.
  • Give your tithe because there's no way God can keep the building lit without your money. Remember, it's your way of giving back all that He gives to you (even though that's not the heart of Jesus to get back what He gives).

But here's how spirituality and being with God in a personal relationship works: 

  • Get up on a Sunday morning realizing that if you're not perfect and that God will not cast you away from Him if you don't go to church and conform to the church crowd's ways.
  • You can boast in your weakness for Jesus already did the work on the cross. 
  • If you're truly saved then it's not by anything you do but by the grace of God that you go forward. 
  • Trust His Spirit to speak to you and guide you. 
  • He's there at all times so if you're on the wrong path or doing the wrong thing, He's going to let you know and as the Bible says, "it's hard to kick against the pricks." 
  • If He has a message for you, a healing, or anything along those lines, He knows how to get that message to you.
  • When you fail, nobody is going to call you names like "backslider."
  • Realize that if you read the Bible to be following the rules, you'll never receive the message He has for you because you're in the way.
  • God has provided you with what you need to live daily, realize that He wouldn't ask you to give that back to Him if He has given it to you. It pleasures Him to give. God's very nature of grace and grace is bestowed. He loves to love us!
  • Be in touch with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It comes in simple knowledge of good and bad, right and wrong. Follow that which is good and God will add to you in your decisions. If you follow after the wrong thing, He'll just be there to remind you of who you are in Christ and gently guide you back on the path, but again, it's not by your deeds that He will do a new thing. It's always about Him and what He can do in and through us.

Now, here's where God just does what He does for His children without our help. I woke up, the same as every Sunday for the past year, but this time I felt compelled. I was compelled by God to go online and find The Resurrection Fellowship Church of Loveland Colorado . First, I couldn't remember to save my life what the name of it was. Our blogger Christian sister Monica of the blog "Wandering Heart" , had recommended "The Rez" to me (above link) months ago. I couldn't remember the name of it, the town it was in, or the pastors name but I had a lot of worship time with them so it was odd that I couldn't remember. Suddenly, the Lord says, "Google Colorado churches" and then I heard Him say, "Loveland" which is the town it's in, bingo. I logged in and He flooded me with His Spirit. I worshiped as I hadn't in a long time and felt His sweet presence as we communed. It just so happened to be their communion service online. I got to watch their live broadcast, which incidentally had only just begun when I logged on. I didn't even know what time it was. Another indicator that it was His desire for me is that I usually study until 3 a.m. and sleep until about 11 a.m., but this morning the clocks fell back and I woke early for no reason. That put my rising at around 9 a.m., the same time the church service began online. I was just going to open the website and find a sermon of God's choosing. Instead, they had just started the live feed. It was immensely sweet! Tears streamed down my face, I couldn't stop weeping, He was just with me and through me. 

That's a spiritual connection, not a religious one. I add that I've been praying under my breath for weeks that God would touch me, and He did! See, I didn't have to be in church. I just had to be with God in my heart and soul and He reached out to me for the sole purpose of giving.

In closing, I say that when God calls, He calls. It's never about our efforts. That's where the devil steers us wrong and into our own ways. It's counter-indicative of what Jesus did on that cross. He died to set us free from ourselves and yet millions of Christians think they should "do" something in order to find God on a daily basis, or to be whole, or to be right, etc. Now, if you're called into a ministry, yes...for sure...do what you're compelled to do for that's your place if you feel sure and convicted that it's the right thing. But I would tell you that if you're a Christian and you don't think church is for you, then it's okay for you not to go. God is still going to love you and use you, and visit you, and speak to you because it's not about us and our works, it's about HIM and HIS. It's always been about HIS love for us and what HE does to show us grace and mercy when we fail. If we continue to try to do things to be right then we will miss the mark and lose sight of what Jesus did on the cross to make us all free! 

Blessings and hugs to you all!


  1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
    Though I have problems with translating some phrases into my mother tongue (German) I totally agree with you.
    May the Lord be with you :-)

    1. If you ever have any questions, just copy and paste the particular part you may be interested in into a comment and I'll translate for you here Andre. Thank you for coming and reading. It fits into what we're talking about in Google plus. Religion and rules are overcoming the grace.

    2. *scratches his head*
      I wonder it's just in the US this way, but here in Germany, we have a splitted Church (Catholic, Protestants and Free church [1]). I watched just the first group wearing dresses at church services (next to other odd behaviour to me).
      Are we more easy-going here than you guys in U.S.?
      Okay, the liturgy within the Evangelical Church (I speak about the church services for elder people) have a strict agenda, too. But I usually attend one for ... how Sateigdra called it? ... Young adults.

      [1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_church

    3. Hi Andre,

      You may be referring to denominations. We have those here as well. Protestant, Methodist, Catholic, Baptist, Non-denominational, and that other one where they handle snakes and faith heal...can't remember the name.

      That dress-wearing is a form of American show. I see no other reason for it to be so prevalent other than for a lady to make herself feel pretty. Some women are unwilling to come to church dressed in any other attire and some come in their jeans and a t-shirt. Often, in southern Baptist churches, a woman dressed down in such a way would be frowned upon. This isn't how every person behaves or every Southern Baptist church, but it's very common in a lot of them.

      For certain I would say things are different in Germany but they can't be too different if the Holy Spirit has mastery of His flock there because it's "one spirit that works all in all". That's a verse of scripture for which I am too lazy to find the reference.

      I would point to the main point for which I feel you're making...religion. It dictates all of these things. Dress code and "strict agenda" as you called it. It's very difficult for the Holy Spirit to move in a service where man has control and runs agenda. They don't know what they're missing.

      I hope you're getting a lot out of your young adult meetings. That's awesome for you to strive towards and I'm convinced the Lord has plans in using that if you feel compelled to be there. He can always teach and help us grow in times like that.

  2. Hi Kelline,
    Jesus says 'Where two or three are gathered together in My name there I am in the midst of them', and we don't have to be in a church building, but we must remember that we must try not to keep a record of wrongs in our heart that may have been done to us by others if we want to have the kind of love that Jesus had, the love that is spoken of in 1 Corinthians ch.13. As you have implied, we are all vulnerable. It is better for us to try to build up one another so that we can all come to maturity in Christ.

    1. Only a perfect individual doesn't remember their life's event .God did not call us to be an exact replica of Christ. He called us to have faith and trust in the grace. I boast in my weakness because it's not about my abilities to find perfect behaviors, but His ability to cleanse and heal. It's about Him! Hugs and blessings Brenda!

  3. Kelline, thank you for sharing your heart. Apperciate it. Blessings and hugs.

    1. Thanks for coming by. It was a long post as I was in the spirit. Hugging back...keep mowing forward "JBR"..you're doing great!

  4. I'm so late on seeing this post, been on facebook for the past couple of day's and when I realize I'm behind on here I'm like I gotta catch up lol. This post is great and uplifting, I shared it on twitter when I was done, hopefully other folks check it out. I share my fave post's on facebook too, but I don't expect much from the folks on there they're lazy when it comes to reading anything that isn't worldly.

    When I first logged onto blogspot I was about to take a nap because I got up much much earlier than I usually do and I was starting to feel really tired, but usually when I start reading it helps me to stay up, after reading your post I forgot I was even sleepy.

    Kelline your a wonderful inspirational writer, your post are encouraging and filled with love and hope, to God be the Glory!
    I love how you broke down Religion and Spirituality and a having a relationship with God, it was dead on, when you mentioned that part about what you have to wear I was like yes sister yes! That's honestly one of the reason's I don't go I can't take the awful stares if I show up in my casual regular clothes. I once wanted to attend a church service but a lady said you can't come unless your wearing a skirt suit. I know we can't beat everyone with the same stick not everybody in church's are like that but that just turned me off and I didn't bother with those folks anymore.

    We're not to forsake the assembling of one another, that's why I'm in a cell group and a young adults group, but we can assemble at home wherever as long as we do take sometime to be with other believers in Christ Jesus. Could be two or more, now some of us, like myself don't have any friends per se, so I don't have gatherings at my house but I like the young adult group, and the other group with the older ladies old enough to be my mothers, but the gathering on sunday in that building place I'm not into that. I did go one sunday because they had a church ministry fair and because I'm in the Young Adults group I came out to support them, other than that not even wild horses could drag me there, only the Holy Spirit, if the good Lord wanted me there I would be there as much as He wanted. I just have never felt stirred up by the Holy Spirit to become a member. It's difficult even having conversations with church goers because it's like they're programmed robots.

    1. Hi Sateigdra,

      How strange that I was typing when the words, the box, everything just vanished away! Then I scrolled down to the very bottom of the page to see if some weirdness had put it there, LOL, and saw an ad posted that was supported by one of my Chrome extensions. Like...what is that about? Since when are they allowed to put ads on someone's websites without permission?

      Anyway, I love this comment you left. I love how you touched on all kinds of things from the post such as not forsaking the assembling of one another. I always remind myself that if I think I'm going against it, I'll try to realize the word "forsake" is the operative word there and to forsake means to basically put it away from your mind and heart for good. I don't feel that way about church. I just feel I'm off on a path right now that has it's own purpose and eventually I'll find my way to another path that the Lord will use to help me grow. Every time we move in a direction related to Him, I feel it's His spirit guiding us for whatever reason He has. I often can understand after a brief period of time why He's brought me to that place though. He never just puts us there and expects us to know nothing.

      It sounds like you've seen some of the things I'm talking about. The lady telling you to wear a certain outfit before you can come to church is outrageous! God knows who she is too. I don't think there's a harsh punishment for that but I'm sure He's none too pleased when His children mislead one another. She should know that clothing is of the world and He doesn't concern Himself with that. I used to see the Levitical laws as the incredible detail God sees. He wanted everything created just right. The right threads, the right adornments made from the right materials, etc. So I never think for a minute He's blase and doesn't really notice because He does. But just not about what we wear if it's modest. I believe in modesty for the simple fact that to dress too revealing draws the eye of men and if a man is married that can hurt his wife if she's insecure. I never want to be the person that shows up looking like a trollop and all the women of the church hate me because their men look at me. I always chose modest clothing for that reason.....it still didn't make me any friends. Married couples have their own click and people like me didn't belong in their little groups. Americans are very jealous of their partners and specifically southern women where I reside. A woman will beat the crap out of you if she catches you looking at her man here. It's ridiculous.

      Anyway, thanks for coming by Sateigdra and I hope all is well where you are. It's very cold and rainy today, I wish I was in Nassau right now. Tell the Lord thank you for your beautiful tropical home because if you lived here, you'd die of bone crushing cold. It's miserable for a Florida girl like me. Big hugs!!

    2. Big hug right back at ya, It's in the 70's today, i prefer cooler weather though. I was thinking the other day how the Holy Spirit leads people places, like how it led Jesus into the wilderness, we just gotta trust it to lead us exactly where God intends for us to be, that's how I feel about being in a group I was feeling interested in joining groups when i didn't care before, so I know it's the Lord. Your so right certain groups in church got clicks, i don't really have any friends at church either, but i'm fine as long as I'm where God wants me to be that's all that matters :-).

    3. You're exactly right, in my opinion, that as long as you feel you're where God needs you to be, you're fine and will be fine. I trust Him implicitly! Although there are times when He must wonder about me with my sassy pie hole flapping at Him! What can I say, I trust Him so much that I know He understands me when I'm too mad to do anything but rant. He can handle it and I truly believe that it's times like that in which He loves us the most because it's times like that when we are purely ourselves. If you say something to the Lord that you would never say to a person's face for fear of getting beat up or losing their friendship, you know you're showing raw emotion and He has to love that. Even if we are hurtful, we're still genuine. He probably hears prayers from phony hearts millions of times a day. I don't want to be like that. I want to bear my soul. Truth is what He is and truth is what He deserves from us.

  5. Replies
    1. LOL...what does that mean? I'm blond "JBR" don't confuse me, LOL.

  6. (❁´◡`❁)*✲゚ aww, hugging back!!


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