I have so much to be grateful for. I have so little on this earth and so much in my soul! Even if I had so much on this earth, it could never compare to what's in my soul. I've been baptized in the Holy Spirit and am saturated in the Word of God. As I reflect back on the life I used to live, I see the lack of meaning in it. The shopping, the hair, the make-up, the jewelry. It all meant nothing. Every bit of it could've come to a screeching halt at anytime. It didn't. I ended it. I chose a meaningful path. I chose a path that would lead me somewhere. I chose depth. The surface is seen. What's left after you've seen it? Another surface? And then? But inside, there's no beginning and no end. There's no color and yet all colors. There's facets, stairways, doors, openings to other openings. Just when I begin to think I get it, there's more to learn. Once, I picked up a bass guitar, I learned it. I can play. But I got so bored so fast. I knew it wasn't depth. It's interesting, it's something to make your own. It's a way to create. But, it's all been done. Every sound has been repeated. Every note has been played. Music is an intricate part of life, needful, spiritual. But it's been done. I haven't. Me. Nobody has lived me. Nobody has repeated me. There's something different through every door. He has made a universe of just me, here, where I am. It's not that I love me, it's that I love how He loves me and wants me to know how much. He has shown me that He spent so much time just creating me. He didn't just zap me down here onto the planet. He gave me depth, wisdom, love, desire, boldness, shyness, curiosity, knowledge, ability, ambition, need, experience, purpose, meaning, hunger, etc. And then there's the facets of each of those. Then there's the purpose in each of those. Then there's the individuality of each of those in me. The unique creation that is me. The layers upon layers. The inside of the inside. The heart of my heart and the soul of my soul. Where I am but only because He is, first.