TRAITS OF AN EMPATH

All my life I've wondered why it is that I feel my energy drain away around certain people. I've wondered how it is that I can tell when someone is lying to me no matter who they are and if I've even known them long. I've always wondered if being a good listener is an attribute that came from conditioning or is this a gift of mine. There's so much about me (and others like me) that sets me apart. Everyone has their talents and there's nothing about me that's above anyone else, but there's a lot about me that's particularly different from most others. 

I'm learning through therapy to seize the moment and live in it as it comes. I'm learning that it's okay to tune into who I am and not be ashamed to tout myself as being the great person I am. I'm learning that it's society that teaches prejudice, not God and not my genetics and therefore being prejudice against myself for saying, "I'm unique and special" isn't what I'm supposed to do but rather that's what society teaches us. It teaches us to hate ourselves, don't embrace yourself or you're considered a braggart. I'm no braggart but I'm unique, special, and I know now what it is about me that sets me apart. I'm an empath. You can also think of people with my abilities as "sensitive." I've always felt overly or hyper-sensitive to others energies. This explains it so well:

Empaths are often quiet and can take a while to handle a compliment for they're more inclined to point out another's positive attributes. They are highly expressive in all areas of emotional connection, and talk openly, and, at times, quite frankly in respect to themselves. They may have few problems talking about their feelings. [This is so true about myself, I hate compliments, they make me uncomfortable and I don't like being the focus of someone's attention].

However, they can be the exact opposite: reclusive and apparently unresponsive at the best of times. They may even appear ignorant. Some are very good at blocking out others and that's not always a bad thing, at least for the learning empath struggling with a barrage of emotions from others, as well as their own feelings. [I deal with the 'barrage of emotions from others' in that I feel your emotions in a deep way, it's almost tiring to sense other people].

Empaths have a tendency to openly feel what is outside of them more so than what is inside of them. This can cause empaths to ignore their own needs. In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates an uncomfortable feeling in an empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a confrontation, they will endeavor to settle the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. If any harsh words are expressed in defending themselves, they will likely resent their lack of self-control, and have a preference to peacefully resolve the problem quickly. [This fits in with my absolute hatred of being near my daughter-in-law when she has to discipline my grandson, that energy and confrontation is too much for me to bear].

Empaths are sensitive to TV, videos, movies, news and broadcasts. Violence or emotional dramas depicting shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain inflicted on adults, children or animals can bring an empath easily to tears. At times, they may feel physically ill or choke back the tears. Some empaths will struggle to comprehend any such cruelty, and will have grave difficulty in expressing themselves in the face of another's ignorance, closed-mindedness and obvious lack of compassion. They simply cannot justify the suffering they feel and see. [When I was a little girl, I lost all sense of myself once when watching a baby sea lion get clubbed to death on a nature show...I ran upstairs sobbing uncontrollably while the rest of my 6-member family just stared incredulously at me, they just didn't understand what the problem was].

People of all walks of life and animals are attracted to the warmth and genuine compassion of empaths. Regardless of whether others are aware of one being empathic, people are drawn to them as a metal object is to a magnet! They are like beacons of light. [...which is why I tire so easily around people. They want me near them, they enjoy me and draw to my energy but this can drain me. I find people enjoying my company a lot but I never thought it was because of my empathic sensitivities].

Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things, and before they know it, they have poured out their hearts and souls without intending to do so consciously. It is as though on a sub-conscious level that person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding. [This explains why the first day of seeing my Psychiatrist, he ended up telling me his entire life story and didn't talk about me one bit, which was okay with me and still is].

Here are the listeners of life. Empaths are often problem solvers, thinkers, and studiers of many things. As far as empaths are concerned, where a problem is, so too is the answer. They often will search until they find one--if only for peace of mind. [I just told an old high school friend that I'm a problem-solver and I don't mind living alone for that reason, I can solve any problem that arises].

That's about the size of it. I know now that I'm an empath and it explains everything. If you're an empath, you'll know it.