As a mother, there's nothing more reassuring to me then to know both of my children are saved. Today, I was thinking back on my youngest son's life and trying to remember everything that would give me that confirmation. I've been on my face sobbing today asking God to confirm this for me.
Grant, my son, is 21 and has had a time in life. My ex-husband and I divorced when he was 3 and Grant didn't find his dad again until he was about 15. His dad seemed to stay back in the shadows until Grant wasn't so "needy" anymore and then he emerged with a shout of "I'm dad!"
He has come into Grant's life with pomp and leadership. The effect he has on Grant is profound. He conforms immediately to his dad's will. He even takes on his characteristics. This is probably normal and to be expected. There's some things about his dad that I'd give my big toe if Grant would leave out of his own character. But I don't tell him so. I say all of this to give an idea of how his dad influences him in not so many good ways.
When Grant was 9, I became involved with a man that was pure evil (again, considering the first divorce). We ended up in a shelter. There, some women came to talk to us about Jesus. I had been saved as a little girl but this was Grant's call. He said the prayer of faith, and I wrote down the date on a slip of paper. I still have that slip of paper.
One day, as we were attending service Grant came to me and said, "mom, I want to say the prayer of faith with the preacher. I'd feel better if I did." I ran like the wind to my preacher and told him Grant's words. But, he never came to collect Grant. Something about that day has left a hole in my heart, an empty place where that act should have been. Today, I begged God to give me the confirmation that it wasn't necessary for that man to do anything.
Grant was baptized in that same church by another preacher who came to fill in for the one who quit. The same one who never came to collect a young man with a spiritual need. So, as I wept and longed for peace in this matter, God wasted no time giving me an answer. I was answered within minutes. He showed me the day (just one) that my son got up and walked from the furthest pew in the back of a very long church full of people to the front and knelt at the alter not far from where my seat was (in the front). A deacon came to him immediately and knelt next to my child, my precious beautiful gift from God. And God let me hear the words exchanged between them. Which now, as I reflect on it, shouldn't have been possible. He said to my son, "do you know Jesus?" And my son, without hesitation, lifted his bowed head and looked the man straight in the eye and said, "yes." Only those of us who know God, know that we do and have no doubts, amen? amen! He was a teenager. Appearance was everything. Knowledge was just beginning. And yet, there he was in front of 100s of people kneeling at the alter telling someone "yes, I know Him." I never asked him why he went (it's not for me know).
Grant could never know what it means to me now, that simple word. The deacon who made the choice to join him there and just ask, could never know what it means to me now. We never know what simple acts can mean later down the road. I was never able, in 6 years of faithful attendance in that church, to hear one word passing between a deacon and his charge. Until that day and only then since. Thank you Jesus for remembering before the time came!!
Grant, my son, is 21 and has had a time in life. My ex-husband and I divorced when he was 3 and Grant didn't find his dad again until he was about 15. His dad seemed to stay back in the shadows until Grant wasn't so "needy" anymore and then he emerged with a shout of "I'm dad!"
He has come into Grant's life with pomp and leadership. The effect he has on Grant is profound. He conforms immediately to his dad's will. He even takes on his characteristics. This is probably normal and to be expected. There's some things about his dad that I'd give my big toe if Grant would leave out of his own character. But I don't tell him so. I say all of this to give an idea of how his dad influences him in not so many good ways.
When Grant was 9, I became involved with a man that was pure evil (again, considering the first divorce). We ended up in a shelter. There, some women came to talk to us about Jesus. I had been saved as a little girl but this was Grant's call. He said the prayer of faith, and I wrote down the date on a slip of paper. I still have that slip of paper.
One day, as we were attending service Grant came to me and said, "mom, I want to say the prayer of faith with the preacher. I'd feel better if I did." I ran like the wind to my preacher and told him Grant's words. But, he never came to collect Grant. Something about that day has left a hole in my heart, an empty place where that act should have been. Today, I begged God to give me the confirmation that it wasn't necessary for that man to do anything.
Grant was baptized in that same church by another preacher who came to fill in for the one who quit. The same one who never came to collect a young man with a spiritual need. So, as I wept and longed for peace in this matter, God wasted no time giving me an answer. I was answered within minutes. He showed me the day (just one) that my son got up and walked from the furthest pew in the back of a very long church full of people to the front and knelt at the alter not far from where my seat was (in the front). A deacon came to him immediately and knelt next to my child, my precious beautiful gift from God. And God let me hear the words exchanged between them. Which now, as I reflect on it, shouldn't have been possible. He said to my son, "do you know Jesus?" And my son, without hesitation, lifted his bowed head and looked the man straight in the eye and said, "yes." Only those of us who know God, know that we do and have no doubts, amen? amen! He was a teenager. Appearance was everything. Knowledge was just beginning. And yet, there he was in front of 100s of people kneeling at the alter telling someone "yes, I know Him." I never asked him why he went (it's not for me know).
Grant could never know what it means to me now, that simple word. The deacon who made the choice to join him there and just ask, could never know what it means to me now. We never know what simple acts can mean later down the road. I was never able, in 6 years of faithful attendance in that church, to hear one word passing between a deacon and his charge. Until that day and only then since. Thank you Jesus for remembering before the time came!!
I love your story...it touched me, i brings back many memories...
ReplyDeleteKelline, why did we meet? Of the many bloggers, we find each other? Why did you choose me?...i know there is a reason for this cause I believe God does not plan through chance...
ReplyDeleteI chose you for your genuineness, your honesty, your love for the beauty around you and the desire you have to capture it for everyone because you want to share this with whomever is willing to join you. I chose you because I understand why you're different, as well as the fact that I also am very close friends with lonely. We are very much alike under the skin, you and I. Perhaps I didn't choose you at all. Perhaps your friendship, kinship, companionship, was chosen for me, or perhaps for us both.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine much worse, than having children that aren't saved. Just wishing that you could give up your salvation for them. However it doesn't work that way, it is a choice. And you can only lead a camel to water, you can't make them drink. You are blessed Kelline to have children that are saved.
ReplyDeleteI feel blessed in this. Any Christian mother probably feels like I do about this (at least they should). There's a comfort and peace placed in a mother's heart when she knows that her children are in the hands of the Great I AM!!! It's truly a peace that surpasses understanding.
ReplyDelete