WE HAVE BROKEN HIS HEART

"Though He had commanded the clouds from above, and opened the doors of heaven, and had rained down manna upon them to eat, and had given them of the corn of heaven. Man did eat angels' food: He sent them meat to the full. He caused an east wind to blow in the heaven: and by His power He brought in the south wind. He rained flesh also upon them as dust, and feathered fowls like as the sand of the sea: And He let it fall in the midst of their camp, round about their habitations. So they did eat, and were well filled: for He gave them their own desire; They were not estranged from their lust. but while their meat was yet in their mouths, The wrath of God came upon them, and slew the fattest of them, and smote down the chosen men of Israel. For all this they sinned still, and believed not for His wondrous works. Therefore their days did He consume in vanity, and their years in trouble. When He slew them, then they sought Him: and they returned and inquired early after God. And they remembered that God was their rock, and the high God their redeemer. Nevertheless they did flatter Him with their mouth, and they lied unto Him with their tongues. For their heart was not right with Him, neither were they steadfast in His covenant. But He, being full of compassion, forgave their iniquity and destroyed them not: yea, many a time turned He His anger away, and did not stir up all His wrath. For He remembered that they were but flesh; a wind that passes away, and comes not again." Psalm 78:23-39.
If ever I had credibility with my Father, daily I destroy that credibility. If He makes His face to shine upon me for His grace and mercy, daily I give Him reason to look away. If I have found any favor with Him, daily that favor lessens with my every failure to serve. If I make Him to smile at the thought of myself, His daughter, daily His smile is replaced with a frown. If His heart is warmed by my willing spirit, daily His heart would wax cold by my unwillingness. Can I make Him to love me any less? Can I please Him by my deeds? Is my presence in a church service the act He's waiting for me to perform? Can I earn any one ray of light? Are my words pleasing to His ear? Can I reach His Truth by stretching out my hand? Can I reach Him by my efforts? Oh God of my soul of my life and the light from within my spirit....forgive me that I have hurt you so, please forgive me Father. What wilt thou that I can do to amend my misdeeds? Can I find Favor with thee oh God by wishing it? Can I simply ask? Wilt thou hear me Father? Hear me, if I can beg that of thee Lord, I've opened this my prayer to the world, I've hurt you Father. I've broken your heart. As the children of Israel...I've broken your heart. I have no redeeming qualities that thou would want me but thy mercy endures forever and your grace is sufficient. Your strength is mine, your love is my health and existence. I breathe because you bless every breath. My heart is failing for fear and failing for sadness. I'm a woman of constant sorrow. You oh Lord, are my redeemer and will pluck my feet from the snare. How I love thee, I will serve you Father, all my days. I won't ask you why you've made me thus. I'll "only believe." I'll believe your word and your promises within. It's not by might but by your Spirit. Blessed be your name. Thank you Jesus! I have only my life. I own nothing. I can not add one cubit to my stature by speaking it. I am what you'd have me to be. I owe you my life such as it is. It's yours and for you it is meant to Glorify. I will remember Ecclesiastes 12:13 "...fear God and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man." Thank you for forgiveness, mercy, grace, and the life I've been given. To you be the glory forever and forever, Amen.